Never Meant To Be
by Instabilitas
Summary: Stars. What does it mean to be a follower of Galaxia? R


_Disclaimer: B.S.S.M., and all other characters do not belong to me. Etc. Etc._

_Author's Note: I was getting rather frustrated with the progress of my other stories and decided to write this in a spur of the moment, an intermission if you will. It's not directed towards any one character in particular but is meant to be from the point of view from any one of them. This is mainly because I did not wish to invest in another "long-term" story that would be based on a specific character._

_FEED BACK OF ANY KIND AND REVIEWS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED. I __**GREATLY**__ ENCOURAGE IT._

_Enjoy!_

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**To Be An Animamate  
**_Short one-shot by Instabilitas_

Why did life have to turn out this way? I ask myself this each day knowing the answer. It is because of Her and it is because of my weakness. Each day I remember and I live among the war, among the destruction. The smell of death is always nearby no matter how far I travel.

I was once "human" as the saying goes. I once knew a life without the killing, and a life where I wasn't so bitter. I once felt the warmth of peace, the light of hope, and I did once love before all of this.

It was a time of prosperity and a time where peace and beauty once flourished throughout the galaxy, my world, my home. I was young and undoubtedly naive of the evil that was rising, destroying, and soon encompassing everything it touched.

It burned and it pained -- The false security that the chosen one, the protector of this planet would be enough to keep the people safe from evil's hand. We had had troubles in the past, but none like what our planet, our people, were about to face.

I remember the sky darkened to a black that was thicker than night and a red the color of blood entwining. Then they came -- _She_, came and in an instant out planet had been turned into a battle ground in a one-sided victory.

My village was destroyed as if it had never existed at all. My family was gone and I was alone, afraid, and dying.

I huddled among the fallen bodies hoping to be mistaken as one of them, hoping that my fate would not be as gruesome as theirs. If I were to simply cease to be in my darkest nightmare, that by far would be an act of mercy in comparison to suffer the blood shed that laid before my eyes.

Hundreds of the civilization that once was, lay torn apart -- Their chests ripped open as they began to decay into ash. A strange power created a shining crystal to emerge from their fallen forms, each turning to black, each disappearing in a pile of dust. Then I finally saw it.

A magnificent being garbed in the finest armor I have ever seen. Gold in color, God-like in appearance. How elegant, how commanding, and how frightening seeing such a being was all at once. The face of evil had finally graced my presence.

The bodies began to rise one by one falling to each side of her creating a path to my form. Not one ever once touching her, not one ever once landing out of place. If I had not been so frightened, it may have even been something jaw-dropping -- A perverse image of perfection. Such power, such composure, such disregard for life. It made me sick and awed all at once. I was certain my fate was the same.

She stood over my broken body and offered me salvation. I was shocked such a being had just spared me, had given me a choice to live, but with a price.

If I were to live, I was to swear my loyalty to her and commit an act that was unthinkable. I was to take the life of very being sworn to protect it. Our savior and the soul of this planet. In return, I would not only be permitted to live, but I would be granted power beyond my wildest imagination and a chance to become a Sailor Soldier.

I looked to the bodies feeling paralyzed with fear at the sight. I forced myself to snap out of it and weigh my options. The choice was clear. I would submit to her will. Little did I know, there was one other price to pay.

I felt my chest rip open as a great pain filled my body. I went to let out a scream but nothing would come out. A power coursed through my body like none I have ever witnessed or felt before. A golden energy emitted from my chest as a diamond-shaped crystal appeared from my chest. It was beautiful and quickly vanished. With it the energy burst in a grand display leaving my sight temporarily blinded.

My wrists suddenly began to burn as I feel an intense energy surround them as it quickly encompasses my body. When I awaken, I find myself in a kneeled position. My attire has changed and my body was miraculously healed. It appeared she was sincere in her offer. All I had to do now, was take the life of another, just one and then my suffering would end.

Neither of which came true.

I had inevitably sold my soul for the sake of my hopes and a result of my own weakness. It had been the greatest mistake I had ever made.

I cannot count the lives of those who have been lost to my new found power. My hands were dirtied never to be clean again. It was a devastating endeavor at first, but the more I did it, the more I began to enjoy it. The power had taken over my mind and it was all I ever thought about. However, nearing the final stages of victory, a terrible thing had happened. I began to recall everything in a blur of a would be "life" flashing before my eyes and I realize something.

The fate of our kind is the same. My time to die again is near. I feel her voice inside my head taunting me. The words are simple as the energy inside of me increases. _'You are no longer of use to me,'_ as the energy freely explodes, shattering my existence. It does not matter if my life was lost in battle with the enemy. It is the energy within the bracelets that can sustain my life without my star seed. I was not meant to be a real Sailor Soldier. I understand this now. It is Her will that can bring me back, and it is Her will that clearly chooses not to.

Who am I? I am a Sailor Animamate. I am the existence that was never meant to be.


End file.
